<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>House of Wolves by hotelcortez</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980530">House of Wolves</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez'>hotelcortez</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kingdom-inspired fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Blood and Injury, Dark Magic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Leader Bang Chan, Heavy Angst, Hellhounds, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Possession, Protective Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Team as Family, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 14:01:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Alright, ugly,” Felix snarled up at the beast, pointing his knife straight up between its eyes, “Show me what you got.”</p><p>The hellhound didn’t need to be told twice.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Felix is poisoned by a creature from hell and turned into a monster. Chan tries to reach him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Everyone, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kingdom-inspired fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2263166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>House of Wolves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello all &lt;3333</p><p>so this story is completely and utterly inspired by the skz kingdom intro stage. OMG THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD STAGE and the boys did such a good job and they looked so amazing that i just had to write it (also who can resist felix dark hair). i /did/ kinda write this whilst battling with some intense writers block so it may be a little all over the place, but i did have a lot of fun with it</p><p>title from the mcr song  </p><p>enjoy!!</p><p>Tw: blood, violence, death of a beast/creature, possession, character tries to harm themselves whilst possessed (this bit really isnt graphic/described much at all) please stay safe &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moat shimmered a deathly black, the jagged ripples of the moonlight twisting through it and carving out terror onto the surface.</p><p>The entire castle was suffocated in darkness, tall looming towers barely visible in the night with the cold bricks solid against the black casing of the sky.</p><p>Even the windows were blacked out, bars stretched taut over the glass keeping all the curses of the place locked tightly inside with no chance of escape.</p><p>Felix could only pray that it was still possible for his teammates to escape.</p><p>He’d hated the idea since it’d been proposed, his heart fiercely protesting against the idea of breaking into a haunted evil castle to steal its dark magic. The whole place was hanging with something unsettling, the air feeling wrong and sinister as Felix breathed it into his throat, every inch of his skin and every one of his cells desperately trying to pull him far, <em>far </em>away.</p><p>The castle just had that effect. Getting near it meant such a distressing, unsettling feeling that most people never tried.  Crossing the poisonous moat was hard enough, but actually entering the castle, shifting past the walls, it was enough to completely re-write the human brain into a confused, terrified knot of paranoia.</p><p>Felix felt a chill contort and mangle down his spine, his eyes practically vibrating in the darkness and his skin crawling so badly his mind was screaming at him to rip it all off.</p><p>He could only imagine how his members were feeling.</p><p>They’d immediately recognised Felix’s extra bad feelings about the place. Felix was the one who’d shouted the loudest when one of them had suggested the idea, he was the one who’d fought tooth and nail to fight the plan, he was the one who had such a negative reaction to the whole thing that he’d almost thrown up on the journey to the castle.</p><p>Felix was the only one of them who’d had brushes with dark magic before, he knew just how fatal it could be.</p><p>But if the nightmares he woke up from weekly, the nauseous feeling he got whenever dark magic was brought up, the tearful re-telling of the horrid memories that haunted him, weren’t enough for Felix to put his team off breaking into a dark castle and taking its magic, then there was no hope.</p><p>Felix knew the only way his team would really be put off the whole thing was for them to actually see dark magic in action, and he could only hope and pray with everything he had that would never actually happen.</p><p>Dark magic was not something to be played with.</p><p>The sky seemed to draw closer, the wind scratching out Felix’s skin as he stood outside the entrance, resisting the urge to turn and run and never come back.</p><p>But Felix was lookout, positioned outside the castle should, universe forbid, anything go wrong. He couldn’t abandon his team. He would <em>never </em>abandon his team, especially when they were facing his worst nightmare. The urge to run away was strong, but the urge to protect was stronger.</p><p>Sounds of rough running water gushed through Felix’s ears, his brain ticking unnaturally at the noise. He let his eyes stray to the seemingly never-ending moat surrounding the entire castle. The water was pure black, its ripples forming screaming faces and horrifying low hisses echoing from the bottom.</p><p>Felix could only stare at it, knowing that it had to be cursed. Anyone who fell into the moat was probably swallowed by its dark magic and either killed in a slow agonising death or cursed to an unimaginable hell they’d never be able to escape.</p><p>Felix had a very bad feeling that it was a moat of hell-water, of the liquid devils used to create their minion-like demons. One tiny touch to that water and a human could be changed into the darkest demon the underworld had ever seen, with no other thoughts in their head other than to kill and destroy.</p><p>It was how hellhounds were created, it was how monsters were set loose, it was how humans were twisted and changed into the worst possible versions of themselves.</p><p>There were too many stories around about hell-water, each more terrifying than the last. The worst tale Felix had heard was that the poisoned human remained conscious and alive even when the hell-water completely took over, they spent eternity forced into watching their own hands do torturous, inconceivable things.</p><p>A ghostly chill racked all through Felix’s body. He couldn’t imagine a worse fate.</p><p>He’d been extra paranoid when leading his members across the moat, probably annoying them all a little too much in the process, which is also probably why he’d been stuck outside as lookout. But Felix didn’t regret it, not even a little bit, he’d sooner die than let any of his members touch that water.</p><p>Whispers echoed menacingly in the back of Felix’s mind as he managed to pull his gaze away from the moat, trying to ignore the way it felt like the air was strangling him.</p><p>It was quiet. Too quiet. If dark magic had taught Felix anything, it was that silence always made the most noise.</p><p>Silence always meant that something very, <em>very </em>loud was coming,</p><p>Felix tried to keep himself calm, his black armour clinging to every inch of his body, strings tied around his arms like veins, his blond ponytail tight behind his neck, his dark makeup disguising as much of his identity as possible and letting him blend into the night.</p><p>He stood solidly, a gloved hand resting on the knife on his belt, ready for the moment of attack.</p><p>And Felix knew, with absolute certainty, that there would be an attack.</p><p>Just as his fear had predicted, Felix was absolutely right.</p><p>Lightning slashed through his heart at the sound of a window suddenly smashing into millions of pieces beside him. Felix flinched. Glass rained like a volcano down into the bushes below, followed by a body tunnelling out the window, rolling through the air and crashing onto the ground like a bomb being dropped from a plane.</p><p>Felix’s feet were moving before he could stop them. His hands tightened painfully around the knife, unsheathing it with a growl and letting the blade catch the light as he sprinted towards the shattered pile of glass and the body lying in the middle of it.</p><p>Felix would recognise that body anywhere. He’d heard that scream too many times before. Felix had just seen his precious leader get tossed brutally out the window like he weighed nothing.</p><p>Felix could only thank all the kind gods of magic that it had been a ground floor window.</p><p>But the relief didn’t last long, all the thankful emotions mangling into terrified ones when Chan’s body was followed by another, this one with razor shape claws leaping out the window and down to where Chan was no doubt lying unconscious in the bushes.</p><p>“No!” Felix snarled with all his might, his footsteps pounding against the floor as he lurched towards the beast trying to find his leader, “Get back!”</p><p>With that, Felix threw himself into the bushes, following the sounds of furious growls with his knife slashing at the branches trying to draw blood all over his skin.</p><p>“Hyung!” Felix screamed out, getting a ferocious growl in response.</p><p>Felix ran towards the growl, darting round a tree and having to grab onto it to stay upright when he found himself almost crashing face-to-face into a hellhound.</p><p>A hellhound.</p><p>It felt like a clawed hand wrapped its way around Felix’s throat, his breath getting trapped in his chest and his heart being yanked through a shredder.</p><p>Th hellhound was huge, even bigger than Felix, with fur as dark and sharp as the night, sticking up from its whole body and leering down at Felix. Its fangs were longer than Felix’s fingers, bared like daggers as the creature snarled down at him, its eyes a distorted hellish red with dark pupils blown wide with lust at the idea of another meal.</p><p>Chan was lying unmoving a few feet behind the hellhound, unconscious but looking otherwise unhurt. Felix was extremely thankful that the hellhound didn’t seem to want Chan as its meal anymore, but felt himself dawn with horror when he realised it was most likely him that was now on the menu.</p><p>Felix had made the mistake of screaming and running at the hellhound, a knife clutched in his hand, no doubt advertising himself as deliciously tempting. Hellhounds were predators, they liked to fight for their food. They liked to slowly chase and dismember, their very beings fuelled by human terror and slow torture.</p><p>Felix was no doubt exactly what the hellhound was looking for.</p><p>Something snapped in Felix’s veins at that, his blood running freezing cold like a tsunami. If this hellhound wanted a fight, then Felix was damn well going to give them one. Anything to keep it lured away from Chan.</p><p>“Alright, ugly,” Felix snarled up at the beast, pointing his knife straight up between its eyes, “Show me what you got.”</p><p>The hellhound didn’t need to be told twice.</p><p>It tore through the air like an arrow being shot, fangs glowing and a mighty growl shredding from its throat.</p><p>Felix felt the air from the attack smacking him in the face, his entire body throwing itself around and shooting forward into the night. His feet moved as fast as they physically could, twisting him around trees and ducking and jumping him over and under branches.</p><p>Not for the first time, Felix had the advantage of being small. The hellhound’s four long razor-sharp legs were no doubt faster than his, but its giant beastly form couldn’t squeeze through bushes easily whilst Felix’s nimble body had no trouble.</p><p>But that only made the hellhound angrier. Hellhounds liked to chase, but they also liked to win.</p><p>Felix should have realised earlier that he was being chased in a particular direction.</p><p>Hellhounds were creatures with direct connections to the devil himself, which meant they not only had an insatiable thirst for blood, but they were also whip-smart.</p><p>Which meant Felix cursed royally to himself when he realised he was being led to an open patch of decaying grass, right next to a bank that overlooked the poisoned moat.</p><p>If Felix ran there he’d be completely cornered, but he didn’t have a choice. The hellhound was hot on his tail, he couldn’t turn around.</p><p>Felix stumbled into the grass with another cacophony of curses, panic screaming like a siren in his mind as he whipped round, staring into the eyes of the beast ripping through bushes towards him.</p><p>For a second, for just a single second, they locked gazes. Felix felt like every single fire of hell blazed within him in an agonising moment of pure, unfiltered horror.</p><p>The hellhound continued bolting towards him and Felix realised with no breath left in his lungs that he was really going to have to fight.</p><p>But then a voice echoed like forest fire in the air.</p><p>“<em>Felix</em>!”</p><p>Felix’s eyes widened like saucers, an invisible hand coming out and squeezing tight to his throat. He felt tears prick in his eyes. That voice was Chan, that voice was his leader.</p><p>Chan had woken up, and he was looking for Felix.</p><p>Felix couldn’t, <em>wouldn’t</em>, let Chan near the hellhound. He wouldn’t risk his leader’s life like that. Felix needed to kill the hellhound, and he needed to do it now.</p><p>A determined smirk rippled along Felix’s lips as he cast his gaze forward, blocking all of Chan’s other calls out his mind as he simply stared at the beast continuing to bulldoze straight at him.</p><p>A second before the hellhound was on him, Felix raised his knife.</p><p>He felt himself falling back like a ragdoll, his back smacking against the ground and jarring all his bones against one another. His head hit the grass, pain exploding behind his eyes and spreading all down his neck.</p><p>But the pain was far, <em>far </em>down on Felix’s list of priorities.</p><p>The hellhound was on top of him now, its claws digging into Felix’s shoulders and its teeth leering down towards his face, growls shredding through the air like bullets.</p><p>Felix looked up and met its eyes, almost faltering when he realised that all the pain he felt in his own body was reflecting back in the hellhound’s gaze.</p><p>That’s when Felix remembered the knife.</p><p>He whipped his gaze to the side, feeling his heart jump at the sight of his knife buried to the hilt in the hellhound’s shoulder, covered in thick, oozing layers of fresh black blood.</p><p>Without thinking, Felix reached forward and yanked the knife out, releasing a gruesome rush of blood that tore out the hellhound alongside an agonised yelp that echoed violently against Felix’s ears.</p><p>The weight of the hellhound got heavier on him, the growls got louder, the fangs snapped down in a moment that had Felix brushing dangerously close to death.</p><p>He tried to swipe the knife back up, determined to plunge it straight into the hellhound’s eye, but it was leering down and sinking into fangs straight into Felix’s shoulder before he could even blink.</p><p>Felix screamed out in agony, white hot pain convulsing under his skin and deforming all down his side, knotting and mangling until he was gagging and gasping for breath.</p><p>But the hellhound only sunk its bite deeper, Felix’s entire world turning white at the sheer heat radiating down him and burning him from the inside out. A bite from any fanged creature was bad, a bite from a hellhound meant an added injection of venom that sizzled like gasoline against Felix’s nerve-endings.</p><p>He could barely even think as he tightened his grip painfully on his knife, white-knuckling it and feeling the hellhound’s thick blood oozing through his fingers. He focused on the feeling, focused on the blade he was holding, desperately trying to ignore the scorching flames inside him.</p><p>Felix managed to look up, a strangled gasp leaving his lips as he focused on his position under the hellhound. The creature’s stomach was directly above his, left open and unprotected as it focused on sinking its fangs deeper into Felix’s bones.</p><p>Felix could only thank every magical being above that the hellhound had bitten his right shoulder. His knife was in his left hand, which meant he could still use that arm. He could still strike a blow that could hurt.</p><p>So, with an inferno blazing hell inside him and Chan’s calls still screeching through the night, Felix jabbed the knife upwards, straight into the bottom of the hellhound’s stomach.</p><p>The beast yelped violently, its fangs tearing off Felix’s shoulder in a movement that had him screaming out. But he refused to feel it, refused to let himself be distracted as he kept the knife buried into the hellhound’s stomach and dragged it jaggedly towards himself, slicing open every inch of the skin on the way.</p><p>Blood spewed out the hellhound’s stomach like a waterfall, covering Felix instantly and soaking him all the way through to his skin. The hellhound made a high-pitched noise like a hyena, its agonised cry whipping like a bear trap in the night. Its gaze snapped down to look at Felix, eyes red and wide and blinking and pained.</p><p>Felix felt like he was about to throw up.</p><p>But he didn’t have time to think about it, not when the hellhound started to collapse on top of him, almost crushing him into the ground and squishing his bones into dirt.</p><p>Felix was quick to plant both his hands on both the hellhound’s sides, ripping at its fur and screaming out as he shoved it off him, not even thinking as he tossed it as far as he could, his tired muscles managing to chuck it to the side of the bank and straight down into the moat.</p><p>But the weight was too much for Felix, taking him with it as he rolled over the ground. He managed to catch himself on the very edge of the bank, the hand that was attached to his injured shoulder flopping over the edge.</p><p>The hellhound landed in the water and disappeared.</p><p>A single flicker of adrenalin stuttered through Felix’s chest before he was collapsing against the ground, relief concocting with a vile mixture of pain as he buried his face into the grass. His shoulder burned, his hands shook, hellhound blood crusted against his skin like insects, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus on it.</p><p>All Felix could focus on was that he was alive. He had made it. He had successfully taken down a hellhound.</p><p>A deep breath dragged through him, all the emotions slowly fading away and leaving only the pain, Felix’s body sinking further and further into the grass.</p><p>He tried to keep breathing, tried to keep pulling in oxygen with the cold night air smoothing over his skin and silking down his body. It felt like there was still something clinging uncomfortably to his veins, something evil.</p><p>That’s when Felix pulled his face out the ground, wheezing from his throat as his vision tried to re-adjust to the dark. He looked down, wanting to stare down into the moat to check the hellhound had sunk. But Felix felt his eyes almost pop out his head when the realisation hit him.</p><p>Felix’s heart stopped.</p><p>His eyes followed the arm he had dangling over the bank, his fingers limp and stretched out, the tips very slightly, by just the tiniest bit, resting against the surface of the water.</p><p>Felix’s fingers were touching the hell-water.</p><p>The veins in his hand were already turning back.</p><p>Felix gasped so hard the air got stuck, his hand flinging away from the moat and tossing all around him as he frantically rolled over. His shoulder roared in agony, blood pounding in his ears as he scrambled onto his knees.</p><p>He quickly brought the infected hand in front of his face, staring down to his wrist in horror.</p><p>He had touched the moat. He had come into contact with hell-water. He was going to turn into a monster.</p><p>“No!” Felix managed to wheeze out, tears gathering in his eyes as he desperately tried to claw at his bad hand, “<em>No</em>, <em>no, no, please</em>.”</p><p>But it was no use, the veins all up his arm gradually started to blacken, charring like ash and sizzling like fire, spreading darkness all through Felix’s body.</p><p>A panicked sob clawed its way from Felix’s lips, his heart feeling like it was smashing an axe against his ribs. He stared down at his infected skin, at the inky veins and the stained bone and the tiny little tendrils of hell starting to weave through him. He tried not to heave.</p><p>“God, <em>no</em>,” Felix cried out, barely able to keep his voice above a whisper. He doubled over on his knees, feeling his chest tighten in protest when the darkness reached it.</p><p>Horror screeched like nails on a chalkboard through Felix’s mind, his thoughts racing a mile a minute and screaming endless cries of <em>no, no, no, this can’t be happening…</em></p><p>Felix was turning into his own worst nightmare.</p><p>But then another shout punctured the air, this one sounding so much like the last one, so much like the first and last thing Felix wanted to hear.</p><p>“<em>Felix</em>!”</p><p>It was Chan.</p><p><em>Chan</em>.</p><p>Chan was awake. Chan was looking for Felix.  Chan had no doubt heard the hellhound and Felix’s cries and now he wanted to find out if Felix was okay. But Felix wasn’t okay, Felix would never be okay.</p><p>Another choked sob ravaged out Felix’s throat, his head springing up and hands frantically running over the ground. He desperately searched for his knife, hoping and praying that he could find it and plunge it into his own heart before the darkness finally took over.</p><p>If Chan found Felix when was he was in full hell form, then Felix would kill him.</p><p>Felix gagged at the mere thought.</p><p>“Please, please, please,” he begged through his tears, his fingers grazing through the mud, finding only dirt and bones, “Please, no.”</p><p>The tears only streamed harder the longer Felix couldn’t find his knife. He realised with another punch to his gut that the veins on both his hands were black now, the poison almost fully spread.</p><p>Felix held the hands in front of his face, blinking at them with agony blazing in his chest. The evil was crawling like snakes under his skin, wrapping around his blood and filling it with the urge to draw more.</p><p>The darkness started to seep in Felix’s brain, the taste for violence starting to fizzle inside him.</p><p>He managed to crawl his way over to the edge of the bank, looking over it to capture his reflection in the moat.</p><p>His hands flew to his hair with a pained gasp, gripping and tugging at the now black strands. Felix’s blond hair, <em>his beautiful blond hair</em>, was completely gone. Replaced by an unnatural jet black that glittered menacingly in the night.</p><p>But it was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the darkness in his eyes.</p><p>Felix let out a final sob, using everything he had inside him to try and fight off the war in his veins, but he wasn’t strong enough, the poison was too much. He collapsed on his side with hellfire beating against his skin, searing through him and begging to be let out.</p><p>“<em>Felix, where are you?!</em>”</p><p>Chan’s voice echoed once more through the night, but Felix barely heard it, not even noticing how close it had gotten. All Felix could focus on was the pure evil swirling through his brain.</p><p>Felix tried to hold on, he really did, but the last thing he heard was another one of Chan’s heart-breaking calls of his name.</p><p>With that, Felix lost himself to the taste of bloodthirst sitting patiently on his tongue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Felix!” Chan called out, his voice catapulting through the air, “Felix, where are you?!”</p><p>Chan desperately stumbled through the bushes, trying to follow the path of where he sworn he’d heard the growls coming from earlier. Sweat was gathering on his forehead, his legs weak and shaking as he tried to run.</p><p>He’d woken up only minutes before, alone and in a pile of glass. The window above him was completely shattered, leaving no sign of the hellhound Chan knew was the one to have thrown him out of it.</p><p>Chan had been confused at first, wondering why the hellhound wouldn’t choose to attack when he practically had Chan neatly laid out on a platter. But then Chan had heard an agonised scream echoing from one of his members and he’d realised what had happened.</p><p>He’d been on his feet before he even realised, sprinting through the bushes and trying to race to where he could hear more yelling.</p><p>But it only lasted so long, one drawn-out agonised screech from the hellhound had bled menacingly into silence, leaving no more noise in its wake. Chan could only hope that meant Felix had won the fight, that Felix had killed the creature. but Chan had a very bad feeling settling like a stone in his gut, a bad feeling he only got when one of his members was in danger…</p><p>“FELIX!” Chan called again, his teeth grinding together when he didn’t get a reply, “FELIX, PLEASE!”</p><p>A tidal wave of terror spread all down Chan’s body, his fingers curling and a growl of desperation ripping from him as he whipped around in circles, trying to work out where the hell Felix and the hellhound had run off to.</p><p>If only the forest wasn’t infested with dark magic, then maybe the clawing hands of the branches wouldn’t have already messed up the footprints from the chase and given Chan something to actually follow.</p><p>Chan really should have listened to Felix when he told them they shouldn’t go to the castle…</p><p>But it was too late for that now, Chan could only wish with everything leader-instinct he had that they’d all come out okay.</p><p>It didn’t take Chan to realise that wasn’t how it was going to end.</p><p>A deep sigh of relief tangled out of him when he finally stumbled into an empty clearing, seeing clear evidence of a fight laid out in front of him. There was hellhound blood splattered all over the grass, a knife laying discarded in the middle of the pile.</p><p>But the relief didn’t last long, not when Chan spotted a stain of human blood dragged like a trail next to what remained of the hellhound. Chan cursed, running forward and collapsing onto his knees when he finally found the source of the blood.</p><p>“Felix,” Chan breathed out, his lips pulling into a relieved smile, “There you are.”</p><p>Chan’s voice was breathy, but light, carrying somewhat gently through the air. It was the type of voice that always melted his members, that reassured them that their leader was there and everything was going to be okay.</p><p>Felix was lying on his side by the moat, his back to Chan. But it was obvious that his shoulder was completely soaking in blood, a gory wound shredding at the skin, leaving behind evidence of fangs sinking through his flesh. The red led down to black, hellhound blood soaked all through Felix’s torso.  But, still, even after Chan’s words, Felix didn’t turn to look at him.</p><p>Chan frowned. Something was wrong.</p><p>“Lix,” Chan said quietly, leaning forward to place a tender hand on Felix’s side, making sure to avoid his injuries, “Are you okay?”</p><p>Chan realised a second too late.</p><p>The blood wasn’t the first thing Chan should have noticed about Felix. The first thing Chan should have noticed was his hair, his soft long blond hair that was now tangled into a thick void of black.</p><p>Chan gasped.</p><p>But he was too late, he couldn’t stop his hand landing on Felix’s side and he jumped harshly when Felix whipped round with a deep, ferocious growl that rumbled straight from his chest, his hand immediately grabbing onto and squeezing Chan’s wrist.</p><p>Chan flinched, “Felix!”</p><p>But the creature in front of him wasn’t Felix anymore. Black veins slithered all down Felix’s face, twisting into eyes were giant pools of dark, no sign of any love or kindness left behind. His features were curled into a snarl, his teeth bared and shimmering with a gaze so lethal Chan lost his breath.</p><p>Chan had never,<em> ever</em> seen such a look on Felix before.</p><p>That was when Chan’s eyes strayed to the moat behind him and realisation stabbed through his gut.</p><p>Chan knew exactly what hell-water was.</p><p>“Oh no,” was all Chan had time to say before Felix was lurching forward.</p><p>Every inch of Felix’s face had twisted into something purely feral; his eyes were deep pools of black that reflected sadistic menace and a sinister desire to hurt.</p><p>He released a horrifying growl as he leapt, tearing through the air towards Chan and trying to pounce on him. Chan was quick to scramble back, feeling grass and dried blood crack under his palms as he pulled himself along to the ground.</p><p>Felix followed him every step of the way, his eyes crescented into a disturbing glare. Chan gulped, not wanting to hurt Felix, but also not knowing how else to stop Felix hurting him.</p><p>But it seemed he didn’t have a choice when Felix suddenly snapped forward again, landing directly on top of Chan and straddling his stomach. Chan flinched, desperately reaching up his hands to push back on Felix’s shoulders, but Felix was strong, he didn’t have any kind of morality or emotion holding him back, he was unstoppable.</p><p>And it showed when Felix’s tiny hands roughly wrapped their way around Chan’s neck, nails digging into his skin and palms immediately pushing down on Chan’s adams apple. Chan gasped, writhing under Felix, immediately feeling his chest start to tighten with panic and his lungs scramble for air.</p><p>“<em>Felix</em>,” Chan gasped, trying to clutch the hand Felix had wrapped around him, “<em>Felix, please...</em>”</p><p>But there was nothing, absolutely nothing, on Felix’s face to suggest that he’d heard Chan. There was hell-water emanating from every inch of him, diffusing from his skin like venom and sending little tendrils of black smoke curling through the air around him.</p><p>Felix himself was still snarling, his face still looking so distressingly beautiful as his features twisted into an expression of true evil.</p><p>He squeezed harder at Chan’s neck and Chan gasped.</p><p>“Felix,” Chan tried to say again, but his voice was weaker this time, his lungs screaming at him to get away, “Felix, you need to listen to me.”</p><p>But Felix only seemed to get angrier, a deep guttural roar slowly leaving his lips, getting louder the longer it went. He tightened his grip, his knees digging closer to Chan’s knees, his eyes swirling a never-ending void of black.</p><p>In that moment, Felix really was a creature of hell.</p><p>Even through all the pain and burning for oxygen, Chan could still feel his heart shatter at the thought that they might never get their Felix back. This was all Chan’s fault. He’d known something was off when Felix was so insistent about them never coming to the castle. Chan should have listened.</p><p>But it was far, <em>far </em>too late for that realisation.</p><p>Chan went limp in Felix’s grip, accepting that, no matter what, he’d always let Felix kill him instead of ever daring to hurt him back.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Lix,” Chan said through the fingers still squeezing painfully to his throat, “I should have listened to you.”</p><p>Felix didn’t show any sign of hearing, just leered further over Chan, allowing Chan a better view to try and commit his whole beautiful face to memory.</p><p>Chan could only pray that if the group ever did get Felix back, if they managed to find the hell-water antidote that was probably hidden deep in the castle somewhere, then Felix wouldn’t blame himself for what happened.</p><p>It wasn’t Felix that was killing Chan, it was the poison he had no control over.</p><p>Chan needed to make sure Felix knew that.</p><p>“Felix, baby, I need you to know,” Chan was able to whisper, his voice crackling at the edges, his fingers coming up to brush gently over the very edge of Felix’s jaw, “This was never your fault.”</p><p>The words were so quiet, so gentle in the air, Chan expecting them to carry him through to the darkness and into silence.</p><p>But the darkness didn’t descend. Everything froze. Felix’s fingers were like ice against Chan’s neck.</p><p>Felix’s grip loosened.</p><p>Chan pulled in a mangled rush of air, his mouth open and eyes bugging as his lungs suddenly ballooned. He coughed and choked on it, his throat working to pull in as much oxygen as he possibly could.</p><p>He looked up through his tears, catching the blurry sight of Felix just staring down at him, barely visible through the way his black hair and black eyes camouflaged so eerily in the darkness.</p><p>But the one thing Chan did see, the one sight that had his heart squeeze with every drop of golden hope he could possibly muster up, was a tiny flicker of recognition sparkling in the back of Felix’s eyes.</p><p>Chan felt shock right down to his soul.</p><p>
  <em>This was never your fault.</em>
</p><p>There was no record of anyone ever, <em>ever </em>being able to overpower the effects of hell-water. But there Felix was, staring down at Chan with an entire war happening in his eyes, a war between Felix and the poison trying to destroy him from the inside out.</p><p>“Lix,” Chan gasped out, his voice weak and hurting, but loud enough for Felix to hear, “Is that you?”</p><p>The words hung in the air for a second, seeming to need a moment to process before Felix suddenly shot straight back. A strangled cry left his lips as he threw himself off Chan and landed on his back a few feet away. Chan tried to catch him, his arms flying out, but Felix was already writhing on the ground, sobbing and struggling as he started to claw at his own chest.</p><p>“Hyung!” he cried, black tears sliding like slithering snakes down his cheeks, “Hyung, I can’t fight it!”</p><p>A storm started to sear in Chan’s veins, raw panic burning inside him as his hands scrambled on the ground, trying to claw his way towards Felix. Chan’s throat was still scorching, his body weak and pained and refusing to cooperate after all that had happened.</p><p>But none of that mattered, none of that mattered when Felix needed him.</p><p>“Lix,” Chan tried to say, “Lix, I’m coming.”</p><p>But Felix didn’t look reassured, instead a look of such intense worry appeared on his face as managed a second to stare at Chan. His face was pale with terror, the darkness still whirring like a tornado in his eyes.</p><p>“No!” Felix screamed, his lips starting to curl again and his voice even more unnaturally deep than it usually was, “No! Don’t come closer!”</p><p>Felix sounded like the devil, his voice distorted and angry despite the dread in his eyes. He scrambled back, body still vibrating and veins still cracking with black until he suddenly stopped.</p><p>Chan stopped too, breaths racking like bullets through him until he suddenly realised why Felix wasn’t moving anymore.</p><p>Felix’s hand, the hand that wasn’t attached to his shredded shoulder, had just so happened to land on his still-bloodied knife lying discarded on the ground.</p><p>Chan felt the little breath he had leave his lungs, his nerves chilling as he watched Felix’s finger slowly curl around the hilt of the knife.</p><p>“No,” Chan tried to say, but he could barely speak, “Felix, stop!”</p><p>But Felix didn’t stop. He engulfed his grip around the knife, his back rippling with the darkness trying to take control of him again. His limbs managed to take him another couple of feet away from Chan, and then he was wobbling like a new-born fawn to his feet.</p><p>“Hyung,” Felix whispered, his voice restrained with all the demons trying to break through, “Hyung, I have to.”</p><p>Felix didn’t look at Chan as he spoke, his now jet-black hair covering his eyes. He was hunched over, the knife shaking in his grip and his body tight with the effort it took not to give into the venom inside him.</p><p>“Please!” Chan managed to shout, but the word didn’t even so much as puncture the air, not when Felix’s mind was obviously so much louder than any noise Chan could make, “Felix, please.”</p><p>But it wasn’t enough.</p><p>It wasn’t enough to cure the poison inside Felix. It wasn’t enough to make the darkness go away. It wasn’t enough to save them.</p><p>So, with the end of the world teetering on the edge of his gaze, Felix looked one last time at Chan, black tears hanging like icicles form his eyes.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Felix said quietly, every tiny drop of love he could manage squeezed into the words, “I’d do anything for you.”</p><p>With that, Felix slowly raised the knife above his head, letting it shake in the air for a second before he swung it down to plunge it straight into his own chest.</p><p>“<em>NO!</em>” Chan screamed, his throat shredding with the raw, unfiltered horror that rushed through him.</p><p>Chan could only watch, with every cell in his body scorching like fire, as Felix let himself die to save Chan.</p><p>A deep wave of agony reverberated all the way through Chan.</p><p>He tried to lurch forward, tried to stop Felix from stabbing himself. But Chan was too weak, too far away, too incapable of saving his friend.</p><p>Chan screamed.</p><p>But then suddenly there was the sound of a series of brutal shouts hurling through the air, followed by a frantic crash of running feet and screams and begs to stop. A pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around Felix from behind.</p><p>Felix was pulled backwards, his features widening in shock and the knife falling from his hands as he cried out in shock, only a second away from nearly stabbing himself. Chan gagged around a breath, watching in disbelief as Changbin and Minho appeared out of nowhere and wrestled Felix to the floor.</p><p>Chan heaved harshly on a breath, his heart convulsing in his chest. The rest of the team could not have arrived at a better time.</p><p>But, unfortunately, Felix’s momentary surprise was enough for him to finally lose his battle. The hell-water took over again, his vicious growls and grunts filled the air again, reminding Chan of the monster he’d become.</p><p>Changbin, Minho and Hyunjin immediately tried to pin Felix down, their eyes panicked and their faces pale at the sight of the black veins bulging from his skin.</p><p>Chan wanted to help, wanted to tell them to be gentle as they held Felix’s struggling body against the ground. But Chan could barely speak, he felt paralysed, his mind still ringing nauseatingly at the sight of Felix about to stab himself.</p><p>Chan barely even blinked when Seungmin, Jisung and Jeongin rushed over to him, falling to their knees next to him and trying to pull him upright. There were still glass shards lodged in his arms, bruises all round his neck, his eyes were teary and shaking as Seungmin darted in front his gaze.</p><p>“Hyung,” Seungmin said, his voice desperate even as Chan was barely to comprehend it, “Hyung, are you okay?”</p><p>Chan couldn’t respond, his brain finally catching up to his body as he surged forward, not liking how Seungmin was blocking his view of Felix. Seungmin rushed to catch him, holding Chan in shaking arms as him and Jisung helped to shuffle Chan forwards.</p><p>“It’s going to be alright, hyung,” Jeongin said from somewhere to the side, but Chan couldn’t believe the words, not when the most mangled sense of relief was twisting inside him.</p><p>Felix wasn’t dead.</p><p>Felix was alive. </p><p>But at what cost had he lived?</p><p>Chan didn’t think he’d ever forget the sight of Felix glaring down at him with eyes flaming with hell. Chan didn’t think he’d ever forget the sight of Felix actually about to die, about to sacrifice himself for his team.</p><p>It was all Chan’s fault.</p><p>Felix had suffered, and it was Chan’s fault.</p><p>Chan eventually managed to manoeuvre himself in Seungmin and Jisung’s hold so he could finally see what was going on. His heart jumped into his throat, his arms pushing out just in time for him to tumble forward out of his members’ grips and onto all fours on the cold ground. Bile rose up like acid in his throat.</p><p>Felix was forced on his knees, execution style, between Changbin and Minho. Hyunjin was towering above him, raising the still bloodied knife above his head and crying out an apology before he swung it down, connecting the hilt directly with Felix’s forehead. Felix knocked out cold.</p><p>Chan screamed, then vomited.</p><p>Felix flopped to the ground. A single black tear trickled down his cheek.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix’s screams were shaking the whole house.</p><p>Chan could barely focus as Seungmin carefully held his arm, meticulously trying to pull out the shards of glass still buried in Chan’s skin whilst they both pretended that there wasn’t absolute chaos reigning in the next room over.</p><p>Felix’s screams were echoing through the walls, piercing the ears of all the members gathered in the bedroom Seungmin was tending to Chan in. They were all sat silently, grim expressions on their faces as they held each other and just tried to bear it.</p><p>They were back in their home, all sat around with their armour half ripped off and half-dried tears on their cheeks. They’d managed to make it all the way back, stitch up all Felix’s wounds and administer the antidote before Felix had woken up.</p><p>But with Felix finally waking up, came all his pain.</p><p>Hyunjin had tracked down an old book on the hell-water antidote and had shakily read aloud that destroying the poison from Felix’s body meant completely burning it away. Only heaven’s light could overpower the forces of hell, and so Felix had tiny lightning sparks scorching through his veins and literally settling alight to his nerves to combat the poison.</p><p>The hell-water was being burned right from him.</p><p>Minho and Changbin were in his bedroom with him, desperately trying to hold him down and prevent him from injuring himself further as he was subjected to the excruciating agony of heaven scorching the forces of hell through his veins.</p><p>Chan had begged to stay with Felix too, to be the one to hold him through his hurt, but Seungmin had insisted on finally plucking all the glass from Chan’s skin and cleaning all the cuts. Chan had tried to protest, but one look at Seungmin’s pleading eyes and the terrified looks on the faces of all the other maknaes, and Chan realised he needed to stay with them.</p><p>Minho and Changbin could be the ones to handle Felix, Chan trusted them to hold him through the agony.</p><p>But, unfortunately for them all, Hyunjin had continued to read the passage in the book when they’d finally gathered in Seungmin’s room. They’d all listened in tortured silence to Felix’s muffled screams and Hyunjin’s shaky voice explaining to them all what the permanent effects would be.</p><p>The black veins on Felix’s skin would be replaced with thin white scars that traced over the veins that had been affected, covering all his body with the marks. Felix’s black eyes would drain away, but so would his original eye colour, leaving completely glass eyes that would be forever colourless. Felix’s black hair was permanent, the blond they’d all gotten used to forever seeing on him would never be able to return.</p><p>Felix would be a black and white canvas of all the colour he used to be.</p><p>And that was only the physical stuff. The mental repercussions of being possessed, twisted and tormented into a monster, of having to watch yourself try to hurt your loved ones, Chan couldn’t even imagine it. They all knew how badly it would affect Felix…</p><p>But at least Felix was alive.</p><p>Felix had killed a hellhound for them. Felix had overpowered poisons of hell for them. Felix had fought tooth and nail for them, now it was their turn to fight back just as hard.</p><p>Felix would be okay.</p><p>Felix <em>had to be </em>okay.</p><p>Eventually, Seungmin managed to finish bandaging up all of Chan’s cuts, quietly instructing him to keep them clean and come back to Seungmin for re-dressings when he needed them. Chan hugged Seungmin and thanked him quietly, holding him for a few seconds longer than needed.</p><p>Felix’s screams still echoed through the walls.</p><p>But Chan knew he couldn’t let his team sit and wallow in it, he couldn’t let them all slowly sit and be destroyed. So, he walked round and hugged them each one-by-one, having to de-tangle Hyunjin and Jeongin from one another before he could even get to them.</p><p>But with all the hugs, came the realisation that they were all still sat round drenched in dark magic. They were still in their armour, still dirty from the castle, Hyunjin’s shoulder still stained with Felix’s dried black tears.</p><p>Chan hated to do it, but he kept his voice firm as he sent them all off to get showered and changed, telling them to eat some leftovers from the fridge when they were done.</p><p>Jisung tried to object, shouting that he couldn’t even think to take care of himself when his best friend was screaming in the next room, but Chan just hugged him a little longer, reassuring him that it would all be okay. It almost felt nice when Jisung practically melted into his arms, letting out a few small sobs into Chan’s chest as Chan rubbed his back, shushing him gently and rocking him back and forth.</p><p>After a few moments, Jisung was able to step back and wipe his tears, giving Chan a little nod before tucking himself under Hyunjin’s arm as the two of them left the room together.</p><p>Chan sighed heavily to himself before following.</p><p>Some time later, they were all sat quietly in the kitchen, slowly eating all the leftovers Chan had managed to scrounge out and heat up. They were clean, hungry and sat as close to each other as possible, trying to ignore the sounds of Felix’s cries and Minho and Changbin’s frantic voices trying to reassure him from the bedrooms.</p><p>That was when, finally, the first light peeked through the end of the tunnel.</p><p>They were just about to start a debate on who should do the washing up when Felix’s screaming suddenly stopped, plunging the house into a second of pure silence.</p><p>All their heads whipped up, eyes meeting in momentary surprise before all their chairs were squeaking back and they were darting to their feet.</p><p>When the pain ended, it meant the hell-water had been completely destroyed from Felix’s body.</p><p>Chan quickly grabbed onto two of his members’ hands, rushing down the hallway with them and crashing to a stop outside Felix’s bedroom, feeling all the other members clatter into him from the back.</p><p>He quickly raised a hand and knocked it against the door, almost bashing it down in the process. Jeongin quickly squeezed Chan’s hand, sending warmth and hope tingling up his arm.</p><p>It took a few moments, but Changbin eventually opened the door, smiling tiredly when he saw all of them stood staring expectantly at him. He stepped out the room and closed the door behind him, his hair messy and eyes haunted, but a relieved look still tingling over his face.</p><p>“He’s okay,” Changbin simply said, voice strained but firm, “No more hell-water.”</p><p>Chan felt like someone had thrown a bucket of warm water over him. His heart squeezed, relief soaring through his veins and pushing a deep breath out his lungs. He allowed himself a second to close his eyes and drop his gaze, all the tension leaking from his body.</p><p>Felix was okay.</p><p>The hell-water was gone.</p><p>They could deal with everything else now.</p><p>Chan managed to compose himself after a few moments, squeezing his members’ hands before he let go of them and stepped forward, clasping a hand over Changbin’s shoulder.</p><p>“Thank you, Bin,” Chan managed a smile and Changbin nodded at him, “For taking care of him.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me, hyung,” Changbin said, gesturing his head at the closed bedroom door behind him, “It’s Lix we should be thanking, he’s the one who managed to fight to get us this far.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Chan said, his mind flashing him an image of the desperate look in Felix’s eyes when he’d finally managed to overpower the hell-water, “He was really strong.”</p><p>It was those words that finally prompted Jeongin to step forward, his fingers fiddling in front of him and his eyes wide, still shining with a few drops of fear.</p><p>“I-Is Felix definitely going to be okay?” he said, looking at Changbin with a watery gaze, “Did the hell-water leave any… effects?”</p><p>A dark look appeared over Changbin’s face at the words, one of his hands coming out to clasp over Jeongin’s. Changbin looked away for a moment, sighing heavily before running a hand through his hair.</p><p>“It did,” Changbin answered, pursing his lips before he looked at them all again and carried on speaking, “Felix has the white scars, the veiny ones all up his arms and probably in other places too. His hair is still black and he passed out when the pain stopped, so we don’t know for sure but he probably has the colourless eyes now too.”</p><p>A small gasp echoed over all the members, tiny noises of pain escaping their lips. Chan pulled in a breath, swallowing past a lump in his throat. He knew the way Felix looked would never, ever affect how his group saw him, Chan and the others would still love him to the ends of the earth. But Felix was going to be devastated and, every time the group looked at him, every time he caught a glance in the mirror, they’d all be reminded of the pure darkness and trauma of the night, of the way they’d all changed.</p><p>But Chan didn’t have the right to get upset about that. Felix was the one who’d truly suffered, Chan was the one who needed to be strong now.</p><p>“Felix is strong. He’ll be okay,” Chan managed to say, keeping his voice steady, “It doesn’t matter how scarred he is, physically or mentally, we’ll help him get through this.”</p><p>Changbin met Chan’s eyes, smiling at the words with a slight sparkle of determination shining in his gaze. They both nodded, silently pledging that, no matter what, they’d get through this.</p><p>It was Jisung who spoke up this time, his little head peeking up and over Chan’s shoulder to look at Changbin.</p><p>“Can we see him, hyung?” Jisung said, sounding so small, so hopeful, that Chan felt his heart crack a little.</p><p>Changbin’s gaze changed to sympathetic, a gentle smile playing over his lips.</p><p>“Lix is sleeping, Sungie,” Changbin said softly, “And he’s pretty knocked out. Minho-hyung is re-stitching his head and shoulder and he still hasn’t woken up. He probably won’t be up for visitors for a while.”</p><p>Jisung shrunk back at that, a small pout appearing on his face, “Oh.”</p><p>Chan was about to jump in to tell him not to be too upset, that Felix would wake up when he was ready and they could all see him then, but Changbin beat him to it.</p><p>“It’s okay, Sungie,” Changbin said, taking a step around Chan and towards the others, “Why don’t you come with me, help your hyung get some food, yeah?”</p><p>A familiar bratty look appeared in Jisung’s eyes at that, Hyunjin immediately piping up with some whines about how he’d <em>just made some food</em>. Chan resisted pointing out that it was not Hyunjin who had made the food.</p><p>But it kept the kids distracted, so Chan didn’t mind too much. He smiled as Changbin started leading them all away, managing to aegyo his way into sending Seungmin to get him a change of clothes. Chan suspected that Seungmin didn’t do what he asked because he found Changbin cute, but actually just because he was willing to do anything to get Changbin to stop.</p><p>Either way, it worked.</p><p>Chan watched as they all disappeared down the hallway, their voices mingling together and gradually fading away, replaced the sounds of them clattering around the kitchen.</p><p>Chan managed a small smile to himself, unable to resist feeling a familiar tingle of pride at his team. He was right about their strength; they’d all get through this.</p><p>But that only left one member who really did need help.</p><p>Chan turned back to Felix’s bedroom door with a worried frown, hesitating a second before he stepped forward and quietly slipped into the room.</p><p>Minho looked up at the sound of the door opening and closing, his tired gaze landing on Chan.</p><p>“I figured it was only a matter of time before you showed up,” Minho said, speaking around the thread he was holding between his teeth, his hands carefully moving Felix’s hair away from his forehead and displaying a neat row of stitches he’d just finished sewing up, courtesy of Hyunjin being forced to whack Felix in the head with a knife to knock him out.</p><p>But Chan tried not to think about that, taking a few steps further into the room and not saying anything as Minho leant back, giving Chan a full view of Felix.</p><p>Chan had to hold back a gasp.</p><p>Felix, like Changbin had said, was completely unconscious. His armour was lying ripped and shredded on the floor, his body covered by a loose black t-shirt and shorts that Minho must have slipped onto him at some point. His skin was unnaturally pale, thin white scars covering his veins and his t-shirt pulled back to reveal a gnarly mess of stitches covering the red, fiery bitemark on his shoulder.</p><p>Felix’s hair was still an unnatural jet black, messy and soaked as it lay stuck by sweat to the side of his forehead not stitched up. And, even though Chan couldn’t see it, Chan knew that if Felix did open his eyes, the bright brown would be replaced by a look of glass.</p><p>But, despite the pain curling in his chest, Chan couldn’t help but breathe in a sigh of relief.</p><p>Even if Felix would never be the same, seeing him living and breathing on the bed, no longer leaking black blood and trying to choke Chan with his fingers, it was a relief.</p><p>Felix had fought so that Chan could live, had been prepared to die to save Chan, had come so close to stabbing himself in his own heart for the sake of his team.</p><p>If Felix hadn’t been able to fight off the poison, then Chan would be dead. And if the team hadn’t showed up on time, then Felix would be dead.</p><p>It was a complete and utter miracle that they’d all survived it. No matter how Felix looked, no matter how devastated and traumatised they all were, at least they were alive.</p><p>Minho seemed to be thinking the same thing, his eyes tender as he carefully grabbed a blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over Felix, blocking Chan from looking at him anymore.</p><p>“We’re not entirely sure when he’ll wake up,” Minho said, giving Chan a look before he turned to pack up all the medical supplies strewn everywhere, “But we don’t want him to be alone when he does.”</p><p>“Of course,” Chan quickly agreed, leaning down to help Minho tidy up, “I can stay here with him. You go shower and eat and everything, I think Changbin’s already roped the others into helping him.”</p><p>Minho paused what he was doing, hesitating a second before he looked up at Chan through his hair.</p><p>“Do you think that’s a good idea, hyung?” Minho said quietly, Chan furrowing his eyebrows at him.</p><p>“What do you mean?” he said.</p><p>Minho cast a quick glance at Felix, frowning worriedly, “He… he tried to kill you.”</p><p>Chan couldn’t but bristle with a small tendril of anger at that, “That wasn’t him!”</p><p>Minho was quick to shake his head, holding his hands in front of himself.</p><p>“I know that!” he said, pausing to push the hair away from his face to compose himself a moment before he carried on, “It’s just… Felix knows he tried to kill you, and he knows he tried to kill himself to save you. He just… he just could really freak out when he wakes up and sees you. You know how guilty he’s going to feel about this, even though it wasn’t his fault.”</p><p>Chan allowed himself to think about the words, a small sigh leaving his lips and his shoulders untensing as he processed them.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Chan said, going back to picking up pieces of Felix’s ripped armour and throwing it away, “But I think it’ll be okay. Felix is strong, he knows I love him no matter what. I don’t expect him to be completely okay when he wakes up, but I think I’ll be enough to help him get there.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Minho said, a small smile appearing on his lips, “I think so too.”</p><p>Chan smiled back at him, allowing himself the moment to walk over to Minho and pull him into a hug, laughing when Minho made the most disgusted and overdramatic noise Chan had ever heard. But Minho still melted into him, fingers curling around Chan’s shoulders before they both pulled away.</p><p>Minho left the room soon after that, his shoulders hunched over and face tired as he went off no doubt in search of members who could feed him and indulge him.</p><p>That left Chan alone with Felix.</p><p>Chan quickly arranged the blanket around Felix so that it was tucked all the way up to his chin, keeping him warm and safe from the harsh world around him. Then Chan picked up a few plushies and tucked them in next to Felix, knowing that Felix found them comforting and heart-warming when he was down.</p><p>As much as he hated it, Chan thought better than to crawl in bed with Felix, knowing that Felix waking up and seeing the person he loved and had just tried to kill might freak him out. Chan just hoped that the plushies would be enough to keep him company.</p><p>Instead, Chan settled himself on Changbin’s bed, right next to Felix’s, turning the lights down and deciding to lie and wait in case Felix needed him at any point in the night.</p><p>But, unfortunately, the night had exhausted Chan almost as much as it had Felix. He found himself drifting, his injured and tired body gradually sinking into the bed.</p><p>It was with one final glance at Felix’s sleeping form, that Chan closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan woke to the sounds of heavy breathing.</p><p>He stirred a little in his sleep, his foggy brain about to pull him back into the darkness when he heard the breathing speed up, sounding too fast and too close to Chan to be considered normal.</p><p>The world was still blurry by the time he managed to get his eyes open, his gaze darting around a few times and brows furrowing in confusion before he finally spotted exactly what had woken him up.</p><p>Felix, his black hair practically glowing in the golden shine from the nightlight Chan had left on, was sat leant against the bed Chan was in, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head in his hands.</p><p>Chan realised a second later that the sounds of Felix’s heavy breathing were actually the sounds of his sobs.</p><p>Pain twisted in Chan’s chest, his arms immediately pulling him up on the bed and trying to reach out to Felix, but this turned out to be a wrong move. Felix must have heard Chan sit up because, a second later, he was whipping round with a cry and then suddenly scrambling backwards to the other end of the room, his chest wracking up and down in panic.</p><p>Chan flinched, his skin tightening at the sight of Felix curled up on the floor at the other end of the room, staring at Chan with shoulders shaking and tears in his eyes.</p><p>“Hyung,” Felix whispered, his voice only just audible from across the room, “Channie-hyung.”</p><p>He sobbed again on Chan’s name, bringing a scarred hand up to his mouth and clutching his face, looking so small and terrified as he stared at Chan.</p><p>“Lix,” Chan said quietly, keeping his voice deliberately steady as he slowly got up from his bed, sitting himself on the floor so he could stay eye-level with Felix, but still leaving some distance between them, “It’s okay. You’re okay.”</p><p>“No, nothing’s okay!” Felix sobbed, moving his hands up to clutch at his dark hair, fingers pulling desperately on the strands, “Your neck… it’s covered in bruises.”</p><p>Chan swallowed heavily at the words, unable to keep himself from bringing up a hand to brush over the fingerprints he knew Felix had left around his neck. But he smiled gently, shuffling closer to Felix as he opened his mouth to speak again.</p><p>“It wasn’t you, Felix,” he said softly, managing a small smile to show he wasn’t angry.</p><p>But Felix took it the wrong way, his voice rising and shaking getting faster as he frantically tossed his head, “But it was me! It was my hands that did it!” he cried, “I saw my hands doing it, I couldn’t stop them, hyung!”</p><p>Chan couldn’t help but feel his heart break in his chest, knowing now that it was true that hell-water victims were forced to witness everything the poisoned version of themselves did. Chan had half-hoped that Felix wouldn’t remember it, that he wouldn’t know what he’d done, but seeing Felix sob and shake and try to stay as far away from him as possible, and Chan knew that Felix remembered everything.</p><p>But hopefully that also meant Felix remembered just how much of a hero he had been.</p><p>“It was your hands, but it wasn’t you,” Chan said, making his voice firmer as he shuffled even closer to Felix, only stopping when he was a foot away, “But do you know what was you, Felix? Do you know what you actually did?”</p><p>At the words, Felix looked up at Chan through his tears, his glass eyes now practically glowing in the dark. Chan had thought that his heart would hurt at the sight of Felix without an eye colour, at the sight of Felix’s light stolen from his face.</p><p>But Felix still looked like… Felix.</p><p>His eyes were glass but they were still just as expressive and as gentle as they had always been. They still shined, they still lit up the room, they were still the most beautiful thing Chan had ever seen.</p><p>In that moment, Chan knew that they’d be okay.</p><p>“I hurt you,” Felix whispered, his voice dripping with pain, but Chan shook his head, finally reaching out a hand and slowly and carefully untangling Felix’s fingers from his hair.</p><p>“You saved me,” Chan said, keeping his eyes staring straight into Felix’s as he did so, “You lured a hellhound away from me. You let the hellhound hurt you, just so it wouldn’t hurt me. You actually managed to overpower the effects of hell-water, which there is no record of anyone ever being able to do, so you could save me. You did so many things, Lix, but hurting me was not one of them.”</p><p>For a second, Felix didn’t look like he believed Chan, his features tight with agony and eyes teeming with the war happening in his head. But then suddenly his face crumpled and his entire body went limp and he exploded into even more violent sobs.</p><p>Chan was quick to catch him, pulling Felix into his chest and holding him tight against him. Chan’s shirt immediately soaked through with tears, but he ignored it, too busy starting to rock Felix back and forth and rub gentle circles into his back.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Felix cried into his chest, but Chan just shushed him, leaning down to press a kiss on the top of Felix’s head.</p><p>“I’m the one who should be sorry,” Chan smoothed down the strands of dark hair he had kissed, “But I’m going to take care of you now. I’m going to take the pain away now, okay?”</p><p>Felix didn’t say anything to that, just burrowed himself deeper into Chan’s chest. His little fists came up to bunch in Chan’s shirt, the memories of his hands wrapping around Chan’s throat now being replaced with the memories of his hands holding lovingly and desperately to Chan, trusting his leader to help him and love him no matter what.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, little one,” Chan whispered into the side of Felix’s head, his nose buried in Felix’s hair, “It’s going to be okay, because you’re strong. You’re so, <em>so </em>strong for us.”</p><p>Chan knew that it was unlikely that Felix would believe the words straight away, the memories too harsh and the wounds too fresh, but he knew they’d get there eventually. Felix had conquered actual demons, the ones remaining in his head were no match for him, and certainly no match for what the group would have to say about them.</p><p>Chan held Felix tighter in his arms, listening as his sobs slowly faded away, getting replaced by small mumbles of <em>I love you </em>that fell from Felix’s lips and into Chan’s chest.</p><p>“I love you too,” Chan smiled down at him, letting himself revel in the fact that Felix was still so warm in his arms, “I’ll always love you no matter what.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading &lt;333</p><p>this story was pretty hard to write but im not too mad about the way it turned out, so all comments and kudos would be so greatly appreciated </p><p>i also have some other works that ive been working on that you should look out for soon ;)</p><p>twitter: @hotelfelixxie</p><p>have an amazing day!! &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>